I heard this the other day, though I don;t know who to give credit to for this beautiful line :-
Think with your HeartLove with your Mind
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A new way…
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Polyamory
Shortly after my last relationship ended. I had a realisation that, amongst others, was quite a deep one, that made me rethink how I would approach my relationships from then on.
The short story is that whilst in my last relationship I met another woman, we instantly had a deep connection that felt like the “love” I have felt for my then partner and other women from the past. Because of my social constraints and my obligation to my partner, I never pursed anything on a physical level with that person, although a genuine heart opening love and friendship did blossom. That interaction made me consider how I behaved when in a “monogamous” relationship. Firstly I would (by my own choice) became focused on my partner then I would proceed to sever any external relationships that may have developed around me, thus becoming “exclusive”. The amusing thing is that because I would not alow myself to feel the love I had for other women around me, my heart proceed to close off or shut down. This feeling of a “closed heart” would become very obvious to my partner who would thne ask me why this was the case, perhapes even taking it personally.
So this is all a preamble to the topic of today polamory a quick google will provide many explainations for what this is, here a link to the wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polyamory
I had not even heard of this word before last night. And upon reading it I realised how apt it was to my approach of relationships. I do recall how content I feel when I might not even be in a relationship, though I have a feeling of love for more than one person at that time. This may sound very strange to you or it may even resonate with you. Our society may dicated that this is not “true love” because socially we have been programed to accept monogamy as the norm. I ask you, how “abnormal” could polyamory be?The love that a great teacher,such as Jesus or Buddah, may have felt for their students was probably more than a fondness. If they truelly had the capacity to love in the unconditional sence of the word, could they also have been in a polyamourus relationship?
If a parent has more than one child, should they not love all of their children? Should a parent focus completly on one “special” child devoting all their attention on this blessed one? Of course not, they should be able to open their heart to all their children. I have one child, whom I deeply love, and I also have a neice and nephews whom I feel as if they were also my own children. The depth of love I feel for them is no different than the love I feel for my daughter.
So some of you may be thinking “How can you love more than one person at the same time?” My answer is, it’s really not very hard to love more than one person at the same time, actually it’s the easiest simplest thing in the world, it’s in our very nature, just open your heart, let yourself feel it.
It may seem hard, but that is just the shield that might have been placed around your heart to protect it from being hurt.
Now there may be a question that has popped into your head. So this guy just wants to shag lots of women. My answer to that would be, I am not talking about sex here, I am talking about LOVE, if I was to end up being with a partner that wanted to be in a exclusive relationship, I would be more than happy to be physically exclusive.
To conclude,in my opinion, loving more than one is natural. Polyamorous relating will have it’s challenges (and I have by no means surmounted them) things like possiveness, jealousy may arise in such relationships, although I feel that once these issues have been delt with, the capacity to love in the unconditional sense and the rewards gained from it will make the journey worthwhile.
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perfection
How funny can the searching fo perfection be? A quote from a Mulla Nasruddin story.
- An admirer of his once asked the sage “Master, why did you never marry?”
- “Well,” he replied, “In my youth I searched for the perfect woman. I spent time with many women, but they all had a flaw. One would be beautiful, but cruel. Another intelligent, but lazy. I had almost given up hope, when I met her; the perfect woman. Healthy, intelligent, sensitive, witty, beautiful, talented…she was everything I was looking for.”
- “So why did you not marry her?”
- “Odd thing,” replied the Hoja, “She was looking for the perfect man…”
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Matchbox Love
When I was young, I loved to make things miniture, a little chair of paper or card some cups and bowls made from plasticine.
I also wanted a pet really bad.
I am sure this was not a unique need, most kids would love a pet, though I, true to my nature at the time, wanted a miniture pet. So one day I decided to collect one. The poor unsuspecting creature was a small lavender coloured butterfly. I had a matchbox for “him” (although it could have been a “her”) carefully fitted out with flowers, grass and leaves for it to eat – as I had no idea what they ate, I thought this to be a sound nutritional smorgassboard for a butterfly.
I kept inspecting my pet, making sure it was still flapping. I told it to eat so it would grow stronge. That night I went to sleep with my butterfly place on my desk in my bedroom. The next day I awoke keen to greet my new pet. When I looked in the matchbox I saw that my once very animated butterfly was rather still – oh. I felt very sad, I thought I had killed it. This was probably true but untill recently it never dawned on me, till a friend mentioned it, that butterflies only live for a day or two.
Anyway the point of this blog is not just about a childhood revisited, it is that I had a realisation that this is how I had treated many things in my life, especially my love relationships. Yes I would pop them into a matchbox and save them and think I was feeding them and nuturing them just what they needed until only to find them dead one day. I could have smothered them or they could have been natural causes.
I realise that everything has its time, and to enjoy something in it’s nature, for the moment that it comes into your awareness – the NOW, takes alot of pressue off us needing to put energy into nurturings it and worring about where it might be in the future i.e. dead.
So my journey is now taking me to a point of letting go of this desire that i had as a child, to allowing life to unfurl and move as it needs to not stuff it into a matchbox and watch it die and wither.
How many of your childhood concepts are still running your show?
peace
jerel mani -
Movie Preview
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Free Hugs
Wow, what a wonderfull thing.
If you haven’t heard of this movement. It was started by an aussie guy “Juan Mann”
http://www.freehugscampaign.org/
blurb from YouTube
“Sometimes, a hug is all what we need. Free hugs is a real life controversial story of Juan Mann, A man whos sole mission was to reach out and hug a stranger to brighten up their lives.
In this age of social disconnectivity and lack of human contact, the effects of the Free Hugs campaign became phenomenal.
As this symbol of human hope spread accross the city, police and officials ordered the Free Hugs campaign BANNED. What we then witness is the true spirit of humanity come together in what can only be described as awe inspiring.
In the Spirit of the free hugs campaign, PASS THIS TO A FRIEND and HUG A STRANGER! After all, If you can reach just one person… ”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bPPKSWSPP1E
Check out all the wonderfull free huggers videos out there.
It will make you smile and open your heart.Here is the wilipedia blurb http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Free_Hugs_Campaign
What the world definitely needs right NOW is hugs sweet FREE hugs.
Love you Mann!!
Just remember anybody who wants a hug, I am ALWAYS open to a hug.
peace
jerel -
World Wide Premier
2006-11-20
On October 19th 2006 was the world wide premiere of Awakening NOW at the beautiful Chauvel Cinema, Paddington Sydney.
The film was introduced by special guest Paul Wilson, international best selling author of The Little Book of Calm. Paul has recently release a new book called The Quiet well worth having a look at.
Its was followed by a Q&A session with the films director Jerel Mani.
Below are some shots from the event. See if you can spot yourself or someone you know.
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Radio Interview
This is a radio interview by Amelia Jane Hunter that was on her “The Daily” show Wednesday October 18th on 2SER radio in Sydney with the director Jerel Mani.
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Pigtails and mud pies
You know when you were a kid you might have liked to chase the boys or tease them to chase you. Or you may have been one for pulling a girls pig tails or teasing them till they cried. I really just got how that dynamic continues to play out in our lives even when we are adults.
Recently it occured to me, that I was acting out an unconscious pattern, I would tease women, with generally harmless jokes or comments, to get their attention.
The biggie was that all I really wanted to do in these circumstances was to connect with them.
Now as I started to understand what this meant, things really began to unravel, I finally gave myself permission to do just that, be present to them and connect.
And I can tell you all, it certainly opens you and your heart up to a much more freeing dynamic.
peace
jerel